jonnahbella:

Sometimes you have to try/risk/give up something to know if you are going to learn or not on the situation you involved yourself into. Yes, I did it. A lot of times in different scenarios. But I always end screwing it all up. I don’t learn. I’m impatient. I’m stubborn as fuck. Stupid. I don’t know if I feel pleasurable whenever I do things that make me regret …which leads to over-thinking. I became boring to talk to. I’ve been hating talking to people first. I’ve been faking smiles. I even wanted to cry to burst it all out but I think I don’t feel anything at all until I stare blankly to nothing. There came one time that I would rather talk to an artificial plant than a person who will never understand me. What the fuck is wrong with me… What I want? I want change. I want something new. New people and things to learn from and forget that I don’t learn at all. Sooner or later, these fucked up things will lead me to something meaningful or find real happiness.

Day 28/366 - What she said.